Boy Crisis

As the story goes, sometime around the summer solstice of 1982, a meeting was called in the secret laboratories located below the throbbing floors of Studio 54. Among the attendees were Rick James, David Bowie, Giorgio Moroder, ESG, Herbie Hancock, Oates (Hall was on a ski trip), a young Gary Numan, Bryan Ferry, and a 7-foot robot controlled from space by Afrika Bambaataa. According to legend, the meeting lasted 40 days (and 41 nights), because this consortium of musical geniuses was there for one unprecedented reason: to breed the greatest pop band of all time. With the help of some young Dutch geneticists, the Consortium collected each member's DNA and created specific "genetic cocktails." These were then spliced into five embryos that would soon bloom into the five cutest babies the world had ever seen. The babies soon turned into boys, and the boys to men, and then back to boys again, and then slowly into young adults, which is about when they met at the Wesleyan Pop Conservatory in Connecticut, USA (all part of the Consortium's plan). These five were Tal Rozen, Victor Vazquez, Alex Kestner, Owen Roberts, and Lee Pender (in order of height, ascending), and now, they are Boy Crisis. One part funk, two parts electrofunk, and ten parts electrosexfunk, Boy Crisis is here to make sure that all your parts feel like grooving, whether they want to or not. Each song is a 3-minute ritual to the Gods of Pop, like Prince and Quincy Jones (the band was at one point named Princey Jones), but they also sacrifice to a variety of Muses, like Tom Tom Club, Sade, and KC and the Sunshine Band. But Boy Crisis doesn't just borrow from their influences and call it their own – they carefully blend together the beats, grooves, and smooth moves of their musical forefathers into singularly seductive hits, stronger and sexier than anything the Consortium could've imagined. The upcoming album Tulipomania will attempt to contain the uncontainable, lashing together the bombastic blast of endorphins that is the music of Boy Crisis. While this will let anyone and everyone get a nice, long taste of the aural pleasures these guys have to offer, the only true way to get a full dose of Boy Crisis is by strapping on your groove boots and sliding on over to the dance floor. www.boycrisis.net will back all of this up. Read more on Last.fm. User-contributed text is available under the Creative Commons By-SA License; additional terms may apply.