Derek and Clive

Trackimage Playbut Trackname Playbut Trackname
You Stupid Cunt 01:29 Tools
Bruce Forsyth 00:44 Tools
Horse Racing 02:47 Tools
Nurse 00:48 Tools
I Saw This Bloke 01:42 Tools
Coughin' Contest 02:38 Tools
Endangered Species 05:22 Tools
Celebrity Suicide 02:58 Tools
Having A Wank 02:58 Tools
This Bloke Came Up To Me 03:30 Tools
Joan Crawford 05:04 Tools
Norman The Carpet 05:04 Tools
Records 05:01 Tools
Back Of The Cab 06:22 Tools
How's Your Mother 04:40 Tools
Alfie Noakes 03:00 Tools
Sir 03:06 Tools
Russia 01:47 Tools
Cancer 01:07 Tools
Labels 03:09 Tools
Jump 01:17 Tools
Politics 01:27 Tools
The Horn 23:15 Tools
Soul Time 01:44 Tools
Valerie's Hymen 02:05 Tools
Non-Stop Dancer/My Mum Song 02:05 Tools
t.v. 02:05 Tools
In The Cubicles 02:05 Tools
Parking Offence 02:05 Tools
Street Music 00:37 Tools
Mona 03:31 Tools
The Worst Job I Ever Had 03:40 Tools
Ross Mcpharter 03:40 Tools
I Can't Shit 01:42 Tools
Members Only 03:32 Tools
Rape, Death and Paralysis 03:02 Tools
The Critics 05:05 Tools
Mother 08:48 Tools
Intergalactic Sex 00:51 Tools
Sex Manual 08:28 Tools
Lady Vera Fart Teller 02:21 Tools
Young Dudley Moore Performs "Jump" 00:00 Tools
Little Flo 00:31 Tools
The Worst Job He Ever Had 03:59 Tools
Just One Of Those Songs 00:51 Tools
Blind 00:47 Tools
Top Rank 02:53 Tools
In the Lav 05:09 Tools
Squatter And The Ant 05:23 Tools
Winkie Wanky Woo 05:23 Tools
Bo Duddley 10:40 Tools
Young Dudley Moore Performs Jump 01:47 Tools
Non-Stop Dancer / My Mum Song 00:00 Tools
TV 01:27 Tools
Jump you fucker 00:00 Tools
Racing 00:00 Tools
Bruce 00:00 Tools
How Sex Was Invented 00:00 Tools
Bruce Forsyth (Explicit) 00:48 Tools
Horse Racing (Explicit) 02:47 Tools
Mother In Law 02:47 Tools
Eight Legged Elephant 02:47 Tools
Lady Vera, Fart Teller 02:21 Tools
Endangered Species (Explicit) 05:22 Tools
Bogey Song 05:22 Tools
Sex Education 05:22 Tools
Marriage 05:22 Tools
T.V. (Explicit) 01:27 Tools
Pete's Impressions 01:27 Tools
Drumming Session 03:21 Tools
Duds Walk 01:27 Tools
Punk Song 03:21 Tools
Ballroom 03:21 Tools
Hamsters 03:21 Tools
Dead Sheep 03:21 Tools
Stripper 03:21 Tools
The End 03:21 Tools
Records (Explicit) 03:21 Tools
stupid 01:47 Tools
Cough Song 01:47 Tools
Russia (Explicit) 01:47 Tools
Soul Time (Explicit) 01:44 Tools
Politics (Explicit) 01:44 Tools
You Stupid Cunt (Explicit) 01:44 Tools
Celebrity Suicide (Explicit) 01:44 Tools
The Horn (Explicit) 01:44 Tools
I Can't Shit (Explicit) 01:42 Tools
Street Music (Explicit) 01:42 Tools
Labels (Explicit) 01:42 Tools
Films 03:15 Tools
Lady Vera Fart Teller (Explicit) 03:15 Tools
Mona (Explicit) 03:15 Tools
Rape, Death And Paralysis (Explicit) 03:15 Tools
Intergalactic Sex (Explicit) 03:15 Tools
Hello Colin 03:15 Tools
Sir (Explicit) 03:15 Tools
derek and clive - having a wan 03:15 Tools
The Critics (Explicit) 03:15 Tools
Sex Manual (Explicit) 03:15 Tools
I'm A Nigger 03:15 Tools
Nurse (Explicit) 03:15 Tools
I Saw This Bloke (Explicit) 03:15 Tools
Coughing Contest 03:15 Tools
line in track 01 03:15 Tools
Rape Death & Paralysis 03:15 Tools
Young Dudley Moore Performs 'Jump' (Explicit) 03:15 Tools
My Nob Fell Off 03:15 Tools
Squatter & The Ant 03:15 Tools
horse race 03:15 Tools
Non Stop Dancer/My Mum Song (Medley) (Explicit) 03:15 Tools
Joan Crawford (Explicit) 03:15 Tools
I Love You So Much I Cant Shit 03:15 Tools
Coughin' Contest (Explicit) 03:15 Tools
I Was Having A Wank 07:18 Tools
Norman The Carpet (Explicit) 03:15 Tools
Back Of The Cab (Explicit) 03:15 Tools
How's Your Mother (Explicit) 03:15 Tools
Having A Wank (Explicit) 03:15 Tools
Alfie Noaks 03:15 Tools
Non Stop Dancer - My Mum Song 03:15 Tools
Come Again 03:15 Tools
Parking Offence (Explicit) 03:15 Tools
Sex Crime 03:15 Tools
Alfie Noakes (Explicit) 03:15 Tools
Interesting Facts 03:15 Tools
How To Pull The Birds 03:15 Tools
Ross Mcpharter (Explicit) 07:18 Tools
Valerie's Hymen (Explicit) 07:18 Tools
In The Cubicles (Explicit) 07:18 Tools
Sex Manual - The Horn 07:18 Tools
Non-Stop Dancer-My Mum Song 00:00 Tools
Members Only (Explicit) 00:00 Tools
Mother (Explicit) 00:00 Tools
Frog and Peach 00:00 Tools
I Can't S**t 00:00 Tools
Derek and Clive Live, side 1 22:13 Tools
One Leg Too Few 22:13 Tools
The Worst Job 22:13 Tools
The Horse Race 22:13 Tools
The Sex Manual 22:13 Tools
Young Dudley Moore Performs 'Jump' 00:00 Tools
Non-Stop Dancer - My Mum Song 22:13 Tools
Mother (from Derek & Clive Get the Horn) 22:13 Tools
Valeries Hymen 22:13 Tools
How's Your Mother? 22:13 Tools
02 - Coughin' Contest 22:13 Tools
Lobsters 22:13 Tools
Worst Job He Ever Had 22:13 Tools
Intergalatic Sex 22:13 Tools
Derek and Clive - I'm_A_Nigger 22:13 Tools
T.V 00:00 Tools
The Mona 00:00 Tools
Critics, The 00:00 Tools
Coughin Contest 00:00 Tools
Track 12 00:00 Tools
01 - You Stupid Cunt 00:00 Tools
Whats The Worst Job I Ever Had? 00:00 Tools
Derek And Clive (Live) 00:00 Tools
Winky Wanky Woo 00:00 Tools
Winkie Wankie Woo 00:00 Tools
Ad Nauseum 00:00 Tools
Derek and Clive - You Stupid Cunt 00:00 Tools
Drinking And Driving 00:00 Tools
11 - Labels 00:00 Tools
12 - Cancer 00:00 Tools
Alfie Noaes 00:00 Tools
Peter Cook & Dudley Moore - Parking Offence 00:00 Tools
08 - Sir 00:00 Tools
07 - Russia 00:00 Tools
02 - Horse Racing 00:00 Tools
09 - Celebrity Suicide 00:00 Tools
04 - Bruce Forsyth 00:00 Tools
I'm_A_Nigger 00:00 Tools
Derek and Clive 00:00 Tools
Endangered Species II 00:00 Tools
Goodbyee 00:00 Tools
Endangered Species [Explicit] 00:00 Tools
Derek and Clive Live, side 2 00:00 Tools
12 - Street Music 00:00 Tools
Young Dudley Moore Performs ' 00:00 Tools
Derek And Clive - Celebrity Suicide 00:00 Tools
derek and clive - This Bloke Came Up To Me 00:00 Tools
Interesting Facts (With John Cleese) 00:00 Tools
06 - Little Flo 00:00 Tools
Track 01 00:00 Tools
06 - Soul Time 00:00 Tools
Peter Cook & Dudley Moore (Derek and Clive) - Celebrity Suicide 00:00 Tools
05 - Records 00:00 Tools
01 - Endangered Species 00:00 Tools
Horn, The 00:00 Tools
10 - Blind 00:00 Tools
Derek and Clive - Jump you fucker 00:00 Tools
Track 11 00:00 Tools
Track 13 00:00 Tools
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Derek and Clive is a double act of comedic characters created by Dudley Moore (Derek) and Peter Cook (Clive) in the 1970s. The performances were captured on the records Derek and Clive (Live) (1976), Derek and Clive Come Again (1977), and Derek and Clive Ad Nauseam (1978), as well as in a film documentary, Derek and Clive Get the Horn (1979). The characters are foul-mouthed extensions of the earlier characters Pete and Dud. Considered highly offensive by many at the time, the sketches primarily took the form of bizarre, sometime drunken streams of consciousness led by Cook, with interjections from Moore. Memorable moments from the records include Clive claiming that the worst job he ever had was retrieving lobsters from Jayne Mansfield's arsehole, Derek claiming his worst job was cleaning up Winston Churchill's bogies (leading the pair to conclude that the Titanic was one such bogie), Clive claiming that he was sexually aroused by the sight of a deceased Pope lying in state, and a horse-racing 'commentary' featuring horses named after sexual organs or their vulgarised derivatives. Though the recordings were far too crude for television or a mainstream audience, Derek and Clive bootleg recordings circulated. They became famous as mostly unscripted dialogues, vulgar situations depicting with copious swearing - especially the word "cunt". Read more on Last.fm. User-contributed text is available under the Creative Commons By-SA License; additional terms may apply.

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