The Prairie Cartel

In 1967, Dr. Klaus Werner headed up a Department of Defense initiative to create noise programming that would turn America's fighting men into amoral killing machines. The program failed miserably when test subjects went on a violent rampage in the small New Mexico town of Glory, fucking everything instead of killing everything. It is rumored that Robert McNamara himself ordered the firebombing of Glory. The work of Dr. Werner was nearly lost forever when his great nephew, Chicago music luminary, Skip Werner, stumbled upon the good doctors notebooks by complete accident while searching the Werner Family mansion's attic for a new ascot. Skip immersed himself utterly in his great uncle's nearly illegible writings, cutting off all contact to the outside world for almost four months. Upon finishing his research, the latter-day Werner set out to put his findings into action. He assembled what we now know as The Prairie Cartel by forcing four men from other bands, at knifepoint, back to his studio/laboratory. Scott Lucas, Blake Smith, Mike Willison and Mick "Death" French formed the original lineup for The Prairie Cartel. Their music, simultaneously complex and simple, was described by one passionate observer as "The sound of very sharp knives having sex..." Drawing from their myriad influences in almost every genre of music and reckless use of controlled substances, The Prairie Cartel sought out to put the spine back into electronic music. Shortly after the group began playing publicly, Mick French ironically took his own life by drowning in a hot tub filled with premium vodka. The three remaining members didn't really seem to notice the loss of French and have blazed a trail of complete fucking debauchery leaving people hospitalized in several states following their highly illegal and un-American live performances. Read more on Last.fm. User-contributed text is available under the Creative Commons By-SA License; additional terms may apply.