The Dark Aeons

In 2001, Jason Dark heard the lamentations of the Ambiguous Dark Metal Gods that May or May Not Be, who reside in the dark reaches of The Void. They spoke of terrible regions of our dimension, regions they dare not go - regions without METAL. And so he became the Metal Messiah, and set forth to teach the Way of Metal to those who are in need. The Way of Metal: 1. The Dark Aeons is pronounced "E-ons". 2. The Thousand League Metal Journey begins with the First Metal Step. 3. Devil Horns are a solidarity symbol of the sacred Brother/Sisterhood of Metal Heads. If your head is neither banging nor thrashing, DO NOT THROW THE HORNS. 4. Do unto Metal Heads as you would have them do unto your ass. 5. If thine grandmother sayth "This music sounds nice", it ain't fucking Metal. 6. It's easy to be Metal at a Metal Concert. In every day life, that's where it's hard. 7. Even the finest metal is not The Metal itself. 8. Those who fall in the Mosh will rise in the Halls of the Metal Valhalla. 9. Being interested and attracted to the aesthetics of evil shit does not always mean that one is inherently evil. It's just cool. Read more on Last.fm. User-contributed text is available under the Creative Commons By-SA License; additional terms may apply.